Not sure what's going on with me?

Well, this is my first time kind of speaking on this but it is getting to the point where i have to do either do one or two things. Either fix and uplift or just let it be. I not realize that i haven't been the same in the past 6 months. I am very moody. I can be in good spirts one minute then all of the sudden become in a bad mood. It is like the littlest things get on my nerves. I become irritated really ease. At times, I don't want to be around no one but in the same sense, i want to be around. I feel guilt when i don't do what others ask or if i forget to do something for someone. In a way, i just feel empty and hopeless. I am a sensitive person. When i feel sad, it is just like i can just bust out crying. At times, I even get teary-eyed and don't understand why. I can literally be fine one minute then upset or have an anger facial expression. I think I do a pretty good job in hiding my feelings or facial expressions from family anf friends. I feel that they are catching on. I keep alot of things in such as my feelings, emotions, stuff at work, etc. The most disturbing thing is that i have sudicial thoughts pop in my head and they were happening more frequently toward the end of the year. i had a "thought" and it scared me and i cried in my office. I feel that everyone is judging me for the good and bad that i do. I feel like people expect so much from me. I feel like i dispoint people. Now no one has ever came to me and say, I was a disppointment but i feel like i am. I just don't know what to do. Since the new year begin, i've been in a great more. Even feeling a sense of peace and worth. But i scared that i will slip back into this "funk" i am in. In a way, i feel like i am going crazy in some sense. I don't handle situations well at all. I don't feel appreicate. I have good family and friends support but i still feel like i am all alone. I want to talk with family and friends but i don't want to bring their feelings down with mines. A couple of months ago, i had been told by my boss and friend that I just look anger or upset all the time. The more I think about it, i have. I just been feeling like myself anymore. It a new year, I don't want to slip back in this funk, or have sudicial thoughts. I wouldn't committed it because i know i will hurt alot my family and friends. I really do love my life. I scared that the thoughts will come back and come even stronger. I just want to do something about it. I need to get out of this funk. It is like I feel so sorry for myself and i don't know that reason why. I also worry about everything. It can be the littlest things and i'll worry about it. That could be why my stomach hurts at times. I could literally pull out my hair. I do belive that i was very close to having a nervous breakdown. I read into others facial expression as negative and think they are talking about me. I just don't understand why i am feeling these emotions. Thanx for reading this post. If you make sense of this then it will be greatly appreciated. Thank you....