Hi, i doo mostly better ,than average ,in all kind of things but i never feel fulfilled, im young goodlooking?

i get ab 115 ot 130 iq in all standardised test(130 whn im not tired) ,im young goodlooking pretty smart, good in mosts ports , forex, ive been playing chess less thn 2 years and i beated sm players ab 2400 online , was best in history at schools. i get pretty much attention frm girls, but i dont go to a date or dare to take any hint, thinking she migth be playing mee or all sort of absurd things.. i smhow prevent myself frm ever relax nd hvng a gd time,and im only 20 iwould like to change but i dont know how,, i tryed . And i managed to think differently ,more positive bt it wrks only fr a few days, then i go back to cynical toughts of all thats wrong in this world, and how much a single individual is limited,, and cant change mst of the thing that are nt in place ,in any field.. those kind of things.. you know smtimes i wish i was more stupid or less smart , and least for a week ,just having fun girls,drinking ecc not a worry in my head.. but i just cant i lost 2 gfs for this, one wich i loved, and i guess all this sounds probably damn foolish , but i just would like to know if theres anyone out there hwo has been trough smthng similar? or has a piece of advice,..